


In Control

by bjfic_archivist



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: Canon, Drama, Points of View
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-06-27
Updated: 2005-07-06
Packaged: 2018-12-27 11:55:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,996
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12080559
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bjfic_archivist/pseuds/bjfic_archivist
Summary: There is the break up.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Note from IrishCaelan, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Brian_Justin_Fanfiction_Archive). To preserve the archive, I began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in September 2017. I posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/bjfic/profile).

Part One:  
Justin's P.O.V.  
I've thought long and hard about my decision. I thought about the effect of my choice. And so I have decided to do what I have been thinking about. 

I decided to do it tonight because Brian didn't tell me on his lunch break that there were any problems that day. Also he said the rest of the day he wasn't really going to do anything. So I knew if there was any good day to do it, it was definitely today.

It was about 7 when Brian finally came home. "Honey I'm home." He walked up to me and gave me a big kiss on the lips.

He slipped his hands up my shirt but I pulled away. "Brian I have to talk to you."

"Now that's never good to start a conversation with." He looked around the room and spotted my packed bags. "What...where are you going?"

"That's what I need to talk to you about. Brian I think I need to leave."

"What are you talking about?"

"I want a real boyfriend Brian. I have asked you stop sleeping with other guys. I have asked you to stop doing drugs. I even asked you stop drinking so much when you get upset. But yet you still keep doing all these things." I start slipping on my bags. "You keep saying you'll stop but you never do. I thought we could be a couple. I thought when the guys started slowing down that you would eventually just have it be only me. But you didn't. You just kept going. So fine you win, you pushed me away. Now I will finally be away."

"Justin don't do this. I told you I am trying to stop doing the drugs. And the drinking it's just a habit to calm me down."

"A habit that seems to run in the family. You get angry when you drink. And I think I am better to calm you down then a drink is. Yeah a few drinks are ok. But when you keep going like you do. It's just not right."

He grabbed both my arms, "Justin I will stop drinking so much. I will stop the drugs. Please just stay."

"Not a chance Brian. You just told me that you stop drinking and doing drugs. But you can't even say you will stop fucking other guys."

"I'll stop that too."

"Too late Brian. I'll be at Daphne's if that even makes a difference to you." Then I walked out the door. He would have followed but I think I left him in a bit of shock.

 

I took a taxi to Daphne's. When I walked through the door carrying all my stuff, Daphne ran up. "Hey let me help." We set all the things down and then I just sat on the couch and she sat next to me. "So how was it?"

"Definitely one of the most horrible things I've ever done. You should have seen his face."

"I'm sure. You did just break his heart."

"Not making this any better Daphne."

"Well you did Justin. I mean he did love you."

"He had funny way of showing it. Fucking other guys, doing drugs after promising me he wouldn't, and drinking so much that he would get pissed off just when I would say he needed to stop drinking. Yeah he really I loved me."

"He did have a funny way of showing it. I mean who did he always come home too? Whose rules did he make sure to obey? Who did he always tell that he cared about but just couldn't say he loved? You were his one and only Justin. Yeah he had sex with other guys but I recall you also did a few times."

"Yeah but if he asked me to stop I would have. I asked him to stop and he didn't. So who really loved who in this relationship?"

"Yeah I guess. But from what I have witnessed he truly loved you. Remember how when you got out of the hospital he tried so hard to get you back to normal. He bought you that computer. He helped stage the whole dance so you would remember. And even that day your mom made him leave. He even helped throw the ball back and forth with you to get your dexterity back with your hand. He loves you."

"Daphne I know you are trying to help. But I am not going to go running back to Brian with open arms saying all is forgiven. Because it's not. Now I know I just got in but I'm just going to go to bed. Maybe we can talk in the morning."

She stood up and put her hand on my shoulder, "Remember I am always here for you Justin. I apologize that I seem like I am on Brian's side. Because I'm not, I'm sure you have a reason for this. You usually don't do that serious if you haven't thought about it.'

"Thanks, I'll see you in the morning." And then she left.

I grabbed a blanket I saw on the back of the couch and laid down. Every possible thing was going through my mind. What Brian was doing right now? More like who he was doing right now? Even what my day was going to consist of tomorrow.

Brian's P.O.V.  
Justin walked out the door. After he shut it I just stared. I can't believe he actually left me. He had this planned too. He packed and on one of my good days. I came home expecting to just be with him. And what does he do he leaves me.

I walked into the kitchen and looked at the cabinet that has all my alcohol. I opened it and grabbed two of the bottles, opened the lids, and poured it all down the sink. That was 50 dollars down the drain right there. Then I grabbed the next two and did the same thing.

After I was done I had gotten rid of at least 300 dollars down the drain. But I didn't care; it was my first step to being better to Justin.

Then I headed to my top drawer of my dresser and grabbed out my stash. I walked over to the garbage disposal and put it down there. I turned on the water and then turned on the disposal and down it all went. I don't care how much that all was either.

Then I started at the computer. I removed my name from all the websites that I get tricks from and canceled all my 'appointments' with them.

After I was finally finished with everything I went to bed. I laid in the darkness, with the only light being from my lit cigarette. Every time I inhaled the smoke the light burned a little brighter. I couldn't help but think about Justin. What was he doing right now? What was he thinking about? But the most important question of all. Will he ever be back?


	2. In Control

Part two:  
Justin's P.O.V.  
The next day it was weird not waking up to Brian lying next to me. Instead I woke up on a not so soft couch. I woke up to the smell of coffee though which was different then the loft. Usually I would be the one to wake up and have to make the coffee.

I walked into the kitchen to see Daphne fixing herself a cup. "Hey good morning sunshine."

"No Sunshine right now Daphne. I have to go into work at the diner. I don't want to."

"You make yourself look like you need him. Just go in with the same smile on your face like you normally would."

"Yeah but see I would usually walk in with a smile because I just got laid the night before by Brian."

"Yeah well that's not exactly going to happen. So fake a smile like you just got laid."

"I'll try. Right now I just need coffee then I'll go ahead and get ready for work."

Brian's P.O.V.  
I got up to no smell of coffee or breakfast. It was rough waking up without Justin there. He would usually be my alarm or at least the person I showered with in the morning. Right now I don't have anybody.

So I got up took a shower and headed to the diner. I knew I would see Justin there but I told myself to hold back so that I wouldn't seem pushy or anything. I have work today so I wouldn't be in there long anyway.

When I got there Justin had just walked in. I could tell because He was putting on his apron. I went to go sit with Michael and Ben.

I sat next to Michael and he gave me an odd look, "You look different Brian."

"Thanks Mikey. That's exactly what I want to hear."

"Did Justin not make you breakfast this morning. That's like a first."

"Fuck off Michael. He left me yesterday. He's staying at Daphne's now."

Michael out his hand on my knee, "How are you holding up?"

"I'm holding out just fine Michael. It was his choice I'm ok with it."

"There you go again. You can't even admit that it hurts."

"What do you want me to say?" I stand up to leave and I look straight at Michael, "That I miss him?! That waking up without him being there was the hardest thing ever?! There I said it Michael." I look around to see everyone staring at me including Justin.

I walk out to have Michael follow me out. "Brian wait up", he grabs my arm "Tell him that Brian."

"I do. That's not why he left me though."

"Why did he leave you?"

"He wanted a real boyfriend. He didn't want me to not drink so much, do drugs, or fuck other guys ever again."

"Well it's true you need to stop acting like you're 21 again. You're not anymore Brian."

"I know, and I told him I would stop but he didn't believe me. He said I say that all the time."

"Well you do. Then you never stop."

"Do you want to know what I did last night?"

"What?"

"I dumped out all my alcohol and my drugs down the garbage disposal."

"Are you serious?"

"Yeah, and I'm serious that I care about Justin."

"That's why you did it? That's a little odd for you. You won't admit you love him but you will give up all that for him."

"I even cancelled all my tricks. I don't want to be with any other guy but Justin."

"He needs to know that."

"In his own way he does. But he needs to visually see that I don't want any other guy. Telling him won't work. So don't tell him anything I have done. I want him to see me out and about. Like at Babylon tonight. He'll see me without an alcoholic drink, drugs up my nose, and tricks in the backroom."

"Good luck Brian. I hope it works."

"It will. Well I have to go to work. Try to make sure that Justin goes to Babylon tonight."

"Ok, I'll see you tonight then."

Justin's P.O.V.  
I came into the diner and as I was putting my apron on Brian walked in. I could feel my stomach tighten but I just kept going. He sat next to Michael at the booth with Ben also.

They were talking really serious when all of a sudden Brian jumped up out of the booth and yelled, "What do you want me to say?" He stood up to leave but not before looking right at Michael and saying, "That I miss him?! That waking up without him being there was the hardest thing ever?! There I said it Michael."

I couldn't help but look at him and he looked at me too. Then he walked out and Michael followed. I was going to go out to talk to him but Michael said he would handle it. So they walked outside. I wanted to know what they were talking about so bad.

Eventually though Michael came back in. "Michael what happened?"

"Nothing."

"Bullshit, what happened I need to know."

"Justin you broke up with him, you should know then."

"What are you talking about?"

"He's falling apart. He wants you back so bad."

"Yeah well he should have thought about that when I made my requests so long ago."

"Come to Babylon tonight."

"I can't, Brian will be there. He'll probably be with other guys."

"No he won't trust me."

Then some queen in the corner booth yelled, "Waiter! I would like to order today not after I have already passed!"

"I have to get back to work Michael."

"Think about it then."

"Maybe."


	3. In Control

Justin’s P.O.V.  
I walked into Daphne’s after work and hadn’t figured out what to wear. I had decided to go to Babylon because I figured it would be good to see Brian with another guy. It would help me get over him.

I had decided to wear the hottest looking clothes I owned. Tight jeans and a tight black short sleeve shirt. I wanted to look as amazing as I can to grab Brian’s attention. I called a cab and they were there at 11.

I took the cab straight to Babylon. The cab driver kind of smirked when I said it was on Liberty Avenue but, basically I didn’t care.

Brian’s P.O.V.  
I knew everything tonight had to be perfect. And that meant Justin being there. I hope that eh ends up coming.

In my head I sound like a completely different person. I feel like this isn’t even me. Everything I’ve done since Justin left has seemed like a completely different person. Normally I’d just be like whatever he’ll be back. But this time it seemed more real.

Justin had left before or at least threatened too. But this time he was very real about it. The look in his eyes told me it all.

Eventually I got ready though. I picked out the best outfit I had; the one he liked the most. My leather pants with my black tank top. He liked my leather pants because of the way they hugged in all the right places.

I ended up leaving at 10:30 because I wanted to make sure I was there before Justin was. Michael and Emmett would be there too.

Justin’s P.O.V.  
I walked into Babylon and Emmett ran up to me. “Hey baby.”

“Hey um is Brian here?”

“Yeah he’s at the bar.”

“Drinking of course I should’ve known.”

“Actually he is drinking water.”

“Really? Well how many guys has he been with tonight?”

“Um…none.”

“Ok then what about drugs?”

“None of them either.”

“How long has he been here?”

“Like an hour.”

“Wow, maybe he has changed. Ok well I’m going to head to the bar. Don’t tell Brian I’m here.”

“Oh I don’t need to tell him. He’s been waiting for you. He keeps staring at the door. He misses you a lot sunshine. Which we all know is odd for him because he won’t admit something like that to anyone. He can barely admit it to himself.”

“Ok well, we’ll see if he even comes up to me. I‘ll still be at the bar though. I just want to observe everything right now.”

I walked over to the bar after saying good bye to Emmett. In eventually looked around the place and saw Brian at the bar he saw me too. I looked away right afterwards so he wouldn’t think I was staring.

But he came over to me anyways, “I miss you.”


	4. In Control

Brian's P.O.V.  
I stared at the door the whole time as soon as I entered Babylon. I probably had a total of like 5 tricks come up to me before Justin got there.

Emmett walked right up to him. They talked for awhile then Justin headed over to the bar. He looked around and caught eyes with me, but he turned away.

So I headed over I walked up to him, "I miss you"

"No you miss our long night of sex."

I grabbed his hand, "Now you know that isn't true Justin"

He pulls away his hand, "Do I? I mean do I really know that's true at all? Now I know Emmett told me you hadn't been with any guys yet tonight but..."

"Yet? I'm not going to be with any guys tonight at all."

"Ok what about next time? Next time we come to Babylon? How many guys are you going to be with then?"

"None, I don't want to be with anymore guys but you."

 

"Uh huh, ok what about drugs? I'll take you back and then next weekend you come into Babylon and stick something else up your nose."

"The drugs are gone. All of them."

"What are you talking about?"

"I got rid of all of them. Down the garbage disposal, even the alcohol." He gives me a shocked look. "All of it Justin. I don"t want anything in my life that might ruin what I have or at least could have with you."

"Brian do you realize what you're saying?"

"Yes, I'll give up everything for you. I just can't lose you or the feeling I have when I'm with you."

He slips his hand behind my neck pulling me into him. He gives me a long kiss that makes me consumed in the Justin. He keeps kissing me long and hard then he pulls away, "And this is for real?"

I kiss him hard to confirm all of it. He knows it's true too. Then I feel like for once everything seems right. All my feelings are finally out there.


End file.
